Saturday, July 30, 2011

How to Improve Your Let's Play

Here are some things I've seen and heard while watching Let's Play commentaries on You Tube that I believe will help all of you LPers out there. Take notes, implement these suggestions, and watch the changes in your subscriber base and comments!

1.   Berate Your Viewers

Call your viewers noobs, douches, steaming piles of dung, whatever! Insert your favorite degrading phrases; pepper your commentary with a steady stream of vitriol against whomever may be watching. Don't discriminate, insult everyone imaginable. Bonus 1: Tell people to like you on Facebook, follow your Twitter and berate them there as well. Bonus 2: Record a Vlog and berate your viewers on camera.

2.   Jump, Swing POV

Jump around, crouch, roll camera and swing your Point of View continually, especially when it's unnecessary. If the game you are featuring has a bobbing or motion setting, turn it to maximum. Your viewers will applaud you for the feelings of seasickness and nausea.

3.   Mic Level

Adjust your microphone level to whisper softness. Viewers love to put their faces into their laptops or PC speakers to catch every golden phrase. Bonus 1: When you have them lulled into a sense of security, up your levels and scream. Bonus 2: Play death metal, hardcore rap, or Barry Manilow at maximum volume over the video, making sure that it overpowers your voice at all times.

4.   Darkness

Eyestrain is perfectly acceptable-your viewers can buy glasses. Laugh at their comments stating that they cannot tell an enemy or NPC from a wall, tree or structure.

5.   Language

Everyone swears nowadays, and you should, too. Lace your LP with all of the latest cool curse words and phrases, making sure you do this in the loudest voice possible so that parents of your younger viewers can join the fun as well.

6.   Monotone

Speak in a monotone at all times. It's hip to sound unaffected. Do not let one spark of interest or color enter your voice. There. Now you're cool.

7.   Silence

Better yet, don't speak at all. No one wants to hear any explanations of intricate gameplay anyway.

8.   Record with New or Incompetent Players

Know someone who has never played a game before? Record them playing, especially if they're incompetent, uninterested, or just plain inexperienced. Your viewers will love the hijinks that ensue through your constant coaching and lack of progress through the game. Bonus: Berate the viewers that complain. (See #1)

9.   Assume all your Viewers are Teenage Boys

Direct your commentary directly to teenage boys. Use “Bro” frequently, especially when addressing your viewers. Tell lots of penis jokes. Say “Boobs” as often as you can. Insert as much sexual innuendo into your commentary as possible. Repeat “That's what she said”, over and over. Don't worry about offending women, since they don't play video games anyway. Neither do people over 19. Bonus: If female gamers or those old people comment, repeat suggestion #1.

10.   NEVER do a Test Recording

Never test record and post a private segment on You Tube. Why check? Everything you do is perfect the first time.

If you do all of these things, you will definitely see a change in your number of comments, and in your subscriber base. Good luck!

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