Welcome to the USA, Don't Dare Need Medical Care: Blogging Til Homeless, Day 8

Wow, am I tired.

The rest of the furniture has been sold, except for the beds. Jackie never got the frame she was supposed to, so I couldn't sell hers (hers as in she sleeps in it, not owns it), so I've lost money there, and I have to leave my bedframe as well. There goes some cash, as they're both antiques!

On the bright side, the utilities have been changed, and a have a shiny new Post Office Box, which will start forwarding this coming week.

More bad news, however. I've completely lost my medical coverage through MCV/VCC. They needed bank statements, which I provided, along with copies of the blog, etc, to show where the money we collected for Mark went. I got a phone call yesterday from the person handling my account, berating me for having money when I have no job, and I explained the situation and asked her if she even READ the paperwork that I sent along. Apparently, that wasn't enough, and they needed a notarized letter from Mark, which isn't a problem...

BUT...

Now, from selling all of my furniture, I have MORE money in the account, so even though I'm jobless and selling everything because I'll be homeless, I DON'T QUALIFY for medical care because I have money in my bank account. When I told the operator that there was nothing I could do, since I would be homeless at the end of the month, she said “OK, “ and hung up on me.

There goes my neurology appointment in April, then.

I can't close the bank account, as I was told when I was getting Food Stamps that I had to have one to qualify, plus my meds cost nearly $180 per month, and I don't want to have that kind of cash on me, especially while homeless! All the furniture and possessions I'm selling will be paying for my medications, and even that will only last for a few months. I have no idea what I'm going to do when my medication money runs out. All I can hope for is a court date for disability before then.

I wish there was some solution for this. WHY can I not get medical care when I have paid into the system all of my life? Why, when I have LOST EVERYTHING - my home, my possessions, my retirement acccount, my FUTURE - and am going to be on the street after being a productive member of society, do I get treated like a crumpled tissue, to be thrown in the trash?

Why, in supposedly the greatest nation on earth, do people get discarded in this way?

Exhaustion: Blogging Til Homeless, Day 18

Sorry I haven't posted in a bit, but the moving/packing nuttiness is in full swing!

At almost the two week 'til out point, I find myself continually amazed by how HARD this is to do, and how much being disabled at this level impedes my actually getting anything done...impedes it to a ridiculous extent.

I've been driving around doing very necessary errands involving car repairs, obtaining a PO Box, visiting the DMV and the like – every trip necessitates a 2-to-3 day recovery period, where I basically lie in bed, practically unable to move. I've also been selling the remainder of my possessions on Craigslist, and dealing with the many people coming to look at items or pick them up is exhausting and painful...and another 2-3 day recovery period. I've been posting all of my stuff in stages, and scheduling people to come all at once to minimize all the standing/walking, but it still hits me pretty hard. Then there's packing.

Or....NOT packing.

More like having piles of stuff all over the living room, dining room and bedroom where the furniture used to be. Refolding, moving things from pile to pile, deciding that yes, THIS can be sold (take a pic, post to Craigslist, repeat); check emails and respond to interested people...go back to the piles of stuff and start shifting again. Think, “I LOVE this, I've had it for so long, I don't want to lose it...will it fit in the van? I'll just move it to “keep” pile.”

And that “keep” pile gets larger and larger.

So I have to start all over again, posting more things to Craigslist.

Now I've gotten to a point where most of the things I am keeping are clothing, bedding, towels and the like, and my rooms are looking like a giant white sale. I have some Space Bags coming from Amazon this week, and I'll be able to shrink some of this stuff down to a manageable level and start loading it into the van (that last part is guaranteed to land me in bed for another few days!)

What's getting me through all of this right now are my friends.

So many of you, I only know as a voice or in text, having never met in person – and you know what?

You are the best damned people I know.

I've gotten encouragement, love, laughter, snark, hugs, kicks in the butt, genuine CARING...

I have no idea what I would have done without ALL OF YOU.

Thank you, all of you, for being there for me.

Miracles Happen: Blogging Til Homeless, Day 26

Today, I have a camper.

I found the ad late last night on Craigslist, and called before 9 o'clock this morning. Within 20 minutes, I was being shown the camper by a man named Evan, whose family had grown too large for it.

It was a year older than I, a hardshell, and was only $600. I paid Evan and drove it home.

Yes, it's dirty, but most of the inside has been completely redone, and should be perfectly comfortable for one person. I may try to paint the interior another color, most likely after I get settled. Just hooking and unhooking the camper from the van put me in so much pain that I've spent the last 4 hours in bed, so I don't think I should be TOO ambitious. After all, I'm still packing the house up and selling things, which also knocks me flat.

Today is a day filled with awesome.

Thanks to all of you, I have a camper.

Thanks to all of you, I will be warm and safe.

I cannot properly express my gratitude to everyone who donated, Tweeted, blogged, passed the word along, sent virtual hugs and words of encouragement...and those who simply CARED.

Thank you.

I'll Get By With A Little Help From My Friends: Blogging Til Homeless, Day 31

I got a Twitter DM this morning from Thefre, whom many of you know as @ThiefKnight on Twitter. He's the person who does the fabulous Minecraft Chibi avatar drawings, lovely sketches, and a multitude of sekrity sekrit stuffs.

He said, “Check this out.”

So I checked, and there was Chibi Thefre, Teddanator and I, straight off of Thefre's private server, set up to be 3-D printed at Shapeways, sooooo CUTE!

Then was the awesome part.

Thefre was doing this to help me fundraise for the camper! Here's the incentive:

Donate $100 or more, and you will receive your Minecraft avatar, rendered in Chibi style by Thefre and produced as a 2 x 2.4 x 0.7 inch 3-D sculpture!

1. Donate $100 or more by clicking the “Donate” button below.
   
   
2. In the “Message” section on PayPal, include your full name, Minecraft IGN (In-Game-Name), and the address that you'd like your avatar sculpture shipped.

Thanks to Thefre, now donators can have a little something in return for helping me keep warm and safe while homeless.

Thank you all!

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Donations are now at $357, and I've tried contacting the owners of the less expensive campers on Craigslist. Haven't received any responses as of yet, and some of the ads are gone when you search on the site. Please pass this blog along, and donate if you can. I appreciate everything the community is doing-THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!

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"What Can We Do?" Blogging Til Homeless: Day 32

"What Can We Do?"

Many people have been asking what they can do to help, and I have to confess, until now, I've been at a total loss as to what to say. All I could think about was that I didn't really have a definition of what I needed, except the extremely difficult “free place to live for an indeterminate time period until I get disability”. That definition was as unhelpful as anything.

Seems that I was forgetting my personal history. You see, there is something definite that would help. First, let me give you a small update.

I have places where I can park the van, which is awesome. This will prevent me from having to park in a box store parking lot at night, or alternatively parking somewhere on a back road, neither of which is very safe. I've got three places so far where I can park the van on private property (and one place to actually stay indoors, but is very far away). Thank you everyone – you know who you are!

Then somebody sent me an email that jogged my memory, and I can't believe I hadn't thought of this sooner:

Why not live in a camper?

For approximately four years, I had traveled up and down the east coast, vending at outdoor festivals and shows, staying IN MY CAMPING TRAILER. It was cheap, and it was safe. Most important of all, being disabled, I can even set one up.

People have been asking how much it would cost to set me up in an apartment for a few months, and between deposit, rent and utilities, it would cost thousands; and is an unrealistic, temporary solution. I have NO idea when my court date is. My disability attorney says it is on the docket but has not been scheduled yet. This is the Federal Government, remember, so I could easily be looking at another year *shudder*. An apartment would be no solution, since I have no income. The money would run out, and I'd be in the same position as I'm in today.

A camper can change this.

Living in a camper would also allow me to rotate where I'm staying, so that I wouldn't be a burden on any one person for too long. It would allow me to leave what possessions I have left in a safe place when I need to use the van (rather than hauling everything around wherever I go). It would allow me to actually sleep in a bed, rather than on a bunch of blankets on the floor of the van. It would allow me to keep some of my personal possessions, so I wouldn't have to start over completely when the time comes. It would essentially give me a free place to live, as long as I needed, until court.

My van is already set up to tow a camper. I still have all of my camping equipment: propane lanterns, stove, etc.

I'm terrible at asking for things for myself. Absolutely terrible. Fundraising for Mark was so different, and easy. I always find it easier to do things for other people, rather than asking for myself.

But I have to change that. I need help. A used camper costs anywhere from $6-or-$700 to about $3500, depending on what's available, and will need inspection, registration and insurance.

Can you help? I hate asking, but this is something definite, something that will actually HELP. If you can, there is a Donate button at the bottom of this post.

Here's some of the things I've seen on Craigslist. I don't know what is still available, since it's pointless to ask unless I can actually purchase one:

http://richmond.craigslist.org/rvs/2776779085.html

http://richmond.craigslist.org/rvs/2774543513.html

http://richmond.craigslist.org/rvs/2773139070.html

http://richmond.craigslist.org/rvs/2760007874.html

http://richmond.craigslist.org/rvs/2758197424.html

http://richmond.craigslist.org/rvs/2757089352.html

Thanks for listening, and thanks for your support.

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Thanks to donators, the van repairs are now covered! Many, many thanks!

Have a wonderful New Year!

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Blogging Til Homeless, Day 32: I'll be Home for Christmas

This is a reprint of a story that I wrote in 2008, and it's a true story, a story of what I used to do, and a story of hope and renewal. I need a little of that right now.

I'll Be Home For Christmas

I was lost, dirty and hungry, wandering the streets of Richmond in August of 2008. In my travels, I happened upon a convenient store and thought I'd hit the dumpster to see if there was anything worth scavenging. Jackpot! A half-eaten burger, wrapped back up and still slightly warm. As I gently unwrapped the burger, I noticed a group of people staring at me, so I wolfed the burger down. I wasn't gonna let anyone take my find, no way, no how. It's been hard enough fighting off the stray dogs that try to take any food I come across. Well, I sneaked a look back at the folks that had stared, and one man was slowly coming toward me with his hand held out. In his hand was another burger. I could smell it-oh, man. As he neared, I realized that he was offering the burger to me.

Now, I can take care of myself. Don't get any ideas that I can't. Yeah, I hadn't had a chance at bath in a while. Yeah, my hair was greasy and snarled. Yeah, I was a little…well, honestly MORE than a little rank, but I didn't need any handouts. I could take care of myself.

I took the hamburger.

While I was eating, the man spoke to me in a gentle voice, like I was afraid of him-HA. I fear no one. I've lived on the streets and taken care of myself for a couple of months now. I can handle myself in any situation.

Well, this guy, he started describing a place where I could go where, if I wanted, I could maybe get a bath, three squares and a place to sleep. Like I said, I can handle myself, but lately it's been getting harder to eat because I have a few rotten teeth, and some big dogs have chased me away from the best dumpsters. I thought I'd give it a chance. If I didn't like it, I could always leave. No fences or doors were going to stop me if I wanted out.

I ended up at the City shelter, where I got cleaned up and fed. Not too bad a deal, actually. Better yet, I met somebody. No, no, not like that-she's a friend, get it? She took me home and put me up in her own house-how many people would do that for somebody they don't know anything about? I coulda run off with the silverware or something. But I wouldn't do that, 'cause I can take care of myself just fine. My friend made sure that I had enough to eat, a place to sleep and all the hot water for baths that I could dream of. It's pretty good to feel clean and fed after being dirty and hungry for awhile.

My friend also helped me get to the doctor to get my teeth (and everything else) looked at. When she found out the getting my bad teeth pulled was expensive, well, something unusual happened.

It seems that there are LOTS of people like my friend out there. Y'know, people who help out. Now, I haven't had much experience with the Internet, but she went and typed up my doctor's recommendation to a bunch of her online friends, and they chipped in to take care of my doctor bill-imagine that! People that didn't even know me!

After awhile, my friend began to talk to me about getting on with my life, and having a home of my own. Y'know, she can't help but one at a time, so she couldn't help anyone else while she was helping me. Well, I thought that was it-she was gonna throw me out, but that's all right. I can take care of myself just fine.

Well, that's not what she meant. She told me that I wasn't gonna have to live on the street anymore, and that those Internet friends of hers were looking for a place that I could live. Like, live there forever and not have to eat out of dumpsters anymore. Well I reckon those dumpster burgers weren't so bad, but I was getting kinda used to being in a home, y'know? With regular meals and being clean and all, I was feeling like a regular girl, and I was starting to want more for myself, too.

Christmas was coming, and that's when my friend said her Internet buddies had found a home for me. In Connecticut, with a couple that saw my picture and asked for me. Asked for ME! Imagine that…

Tomorrow I get to take a road trip, and I will be leaving my friend forever. She's packed up my favorite things to take with me, and she tells me that I will be making lots of new friends at the end of my journey. I'll be in my new home for Christmas. I never thought much of Christmas before, but now I am getting a precious gift-new friends, a new home and a new life. I'm never gonna have to take care of myself or be all alone again. And maybe, just maybe…I can take care of my new friends, too.

Brooke

Stray German Shepherd Dog

Last Hope Safe Haven Rescue

Christmas 2008

Blogging 'Til Homeless, Day 33: Bittersweet

“Stuff is replaceable.”

I've heard and said this many a time over the last few years of slowly getting rid of a lifetime's accumulation of personal possessions. I've been pretty ruthless in purging, throwing out, selling, just plain getting rid of “stuff”.

Today was HARD.

Today has been about a week in preparation, mostly mental. The physical wasn't bad. I had a prelude yesterday when I sold over a thousand dollars worth of furniture for $270. But today, my Mom came and took away some of my precious things, things with memories attached, things that are really, REALLY hard to give up.

A gargoyle, made of cement and heavy as stone; I bought him when I first started the huge project that was the English garden at my cottage. He surveyed the entire 5-year process from his place under the azalea bush next to the steps, and kept me company through the long, pleasant hours of digging, planting, weeding and relaxing. He also watched as the whole house was transformed from ugly duckling to jewel-box cottage, and surveyed the annual installation (and agonizing take-down) of the 40,000 Christmas lights.

A rough chunk of black glass as big as my head, given to me by a dear friend that I haven't seen in years, as a congratulatory present for the success of my business. This piece has adorned every professional office I've ever inhabited.

Two simple wooden handmade bowls, turned from the wood of the pecan tree that used to stand in my backyard. Hurricane Isabel destroyed the tree, which predated my 1937 cottage, and in return for the wood I gave him, the bowls were given to me as a thank you gift from the hands of that same craftsman.

My aunt June paints. She has the lovliest style, and her paintings glow with an inner light, quite similar to that of Kincaid, but she actually stopped painting before he started. I'm proud to own two of her paintings: one, a little fluffy dog, was actually painted for my birth; the other, a beagle that was my uncle Bud's favourite painting, given to me for Christmas just last year.

It was hard to see Mom, and Billy, and to see them taking my memories away. It made it harder still that Jackie hovered, but at least she withdrew when asked so I could have private time with my family. They may not be able to house me, but they love me, and will protect and care for some of my precious memories.

As they drove away with small pieces of my heart, needless to say, there were tears.

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As usual, that you for all the support. Sorry that I haven't been updating daily - sometimes I just cannot with the chaos of sorting out the house coupled with the pain of my disability. Thanks to everyone who asked how I was doing, those with words of encouragement, and those who donated. I am so proud to have you as friends.

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Christmas Good News! Blogging Til Homeless: Day 36

Hope you all had the merriest of Christmases and are still enjoying a wonderful holiday season!

I had a few pieces of really great news come my way over the last couple of days, so I thought I'd share.

First, my Mom and her husband Billy have taken my dog, Clapton, and have promised never to sell him, so I won't have to say goodbye to him forever. Billy came to pick him up on Christmas Eve, and yes, I cried a LOT. But he loves the farm, and I'll be able to see him whenever I can visit. I don't have to let my boy go permanently. I know I'd already told you he was going with Jodi (and he would have had a fabulous home with her), and I wrote Jodi apologizing for the sudden change. Haven't heard back yet, I hope she understands.

Secondly, I have a couple of places to go. No, not shelters, but places where I can park my van and sleep in it safely. I'll still be homeless, but I WILL be relatively safe. Hooray!

I will be moving into the van on January 31^st, and the van still needs a new tie rod and two new tires, so I'll be trying to raise that somehow.

Things seem to have calmed down around here, so thanks for all of the support. I couldn't have made it through the last week without all of the encouragement and well wishes from all of you.

Sorry for the brevity of this one, as I'm still extremely ill and chugging Nyquil like a BAWSSS.

Have a wonderful New Year!

Due to requests, I'm adding a donation button to these particular posts for folks that wish to donate. Thank you for all your help!

“But I Don't Understand, How Can This Happen?”

Many of you know what's going on. For those who don't, rather than repeat it, I'll send you here http://astragali.efx3.com/2011/12/21/thecrystalcrow-xmas-miracle/ or you can check my main Twitter stream https://twitter.com/#!/thecrystalcrow Thanks to everyone with suggestions, ideas, and donations!

Since I've been explaining what I have been going through over and over to people who respond with “How can this happen in America?”, I thought I'd take you along on this odyssey with me and tell you all about how yes, this can, and frequently does, happen in America.

The first thing you have to know is about SSI/Disability. According to my attorney, hardly anyone receives it on the first try, and that going to court is when it will be decided, especially with ambiguous cases like mine. If you lose in court the first time, it can still take years for another appeal. I have already lost an extra year in this process, due to the fact that the person handling my case in my attorney's office did not send the required medical release forms.

Secondly, I have been jobless due to medical reasons, backed up by my doctor, since July 27^th, 2009. So basically, for 2.5 years, I have had no income. This required me to declare bankruptcy, lose my home, and lose my retirement fund. I haven't been able to buy a cup of coffee or a spare pair of underwear on my own since I ran out of money over a year ago. Thankfully, my roommate has been kind enough to let me stay with her through this time, but as she has lost her job, and has just lost her unemployment benefits, this is no longer an option. We're both out of here at the end of January when she can no longer pay the rent. And no, staying and being evicted for non-payment is not an option, as my Disability attorney is ALSO my landlady.

Thirdly, when you are in the application process for SSI/Disability, there are no social programs that will help you. Anything federally funded requires you to already be receiving disability, have a specific disease or injury (such as AIDS or head injuries), or be a veteran. I qualify for none of these. I have spent literally months (since roomie lost her job in July) searching the net and making calls (being crippled prevents me from going to the offices of such programs, as I cannot sit, stand or walk without great pain) to no avail. I qualify for nothing besides $200 per month in Food Stamps. No HUD, no assistance with utilities, no assistance with medication, no assisted living, NOTHING.

What do people do? How are the disabled supposed to bridge the gap between the start of the Disability application process and actually obtaining Disability? According to my attorney, the Federal Government hopes that applicants will give up, which weeds out the people who are not truly disabled and are looking for a handout.

Excuse me, but WTF?

In my personal experience, doctors are UNWILLING to advocate that you apply for Disability. So where are these people that are looking for a handout? And where are the doctors that are going to court to support them?

I haven't the faintest idea.

But I know where many of those disabled people are – the ones that fall through the cracks. I've talked to many of them. They sit on street corners, holding cardboard signs from morning 'til night, to disappear into tarp and tent shelters after sunset. They'll willingly tell you their stories, especially if you give them a bite to eat, or a blanket. Most are visibly crippled, some mentally affected. The familiar refrain from about 60% of the homeless that I have interacted with in the last 8 years is, “I couldn't get disability.”

About those social programs: if you do happen to see someone, for example, at the Social Services Office....oh, exactly like the one on Hull Street in Richmond, you will be told that there is no assistance, but will be given a long list if charities to call. (What if you have no phone? What then?) Upon calling each of these approximately two dozen charities, you will be told by EACH ONE that the programs no longer exist, are no longer funded, or can not help you since YOU DON'T QUALIFY because you don't receive Disability...sigh.

Any questions? Let me know. I'm going to be blogging about my last month with a roof over my head, so if you have questions, I'll certainly do my best to answer.

And if you have any ideas about places I can get help, please make sure the programs are funded, first!

PS: Thank you so much for the donations! Any little bit keeps the wolf from the door a little longer. If anyone out there has a long term solution, please let me know! It's unrealistic, but what I need is a free-to-really-cheap place to stay until I go to court (Ideally, free. Remember, I have no income). I have to stay in the Richmond, VA area due to doctor continuity for Disability. The bad part is, there is no court date yet, and this has gone on for 2.5 years so far.

I also need people help! I'm bedridden, and need to move my furniture out to consignment stores, as it hasn't sold on Craigslist, so if you live in the RVA area, have a truck and/or can pick stuff up, please let me know! I also need help selling everything else that isn't tied down, which is a bunch of arts & crafts stuff, and jewelry-making supplies left over from my business.

Also, if you live in the area and like Art Deco furniture, come see me and let's make a deal!

Thanks so much for all of your support!

I'll let you know here what happens next...


Due to requests, I'm adding a donation button to these particular posts for folks that wish to donate. Thank you for all your help!